Am I Going The Right Way?

"Am I going the right way?" the runner called out, as we passed in opposite directions. I instinctively shouted yes, as an act of encouragement, but as the question processed in my mind, I turned to see her keeping her momentum, committed to her direction, and disappearing away from me.

It reminded me of the Cheshire Cat (appropriate as I was on the Middlewood Way near Macclesfield in Cheshire!) telling Alice that it didn't matter which way she went in Wonderland, if she didn't know where she was headed.

For over 20 years, I was on the banking motorway, switching between the lanes in a constant journey, stopping briefly at service stations that all looked and felt so familiar. The ill health of my son felt like coming off the motorway, wandering country roads in the dark without a map, but stumbling across some amazing people and experiences that would never have been experienced had I simply taken the 40 year motorway to retirement. Don't misunderstand, it was 22 fun years (mostly), but coming off the motorway permanently has been the most rewarding decision ever. Continuing the metaphors, leaving an established banking career with a multi-national organisation leaves you without 'roadside recovery' when things aren't going so well in the self-starting world of a new solo career, but I can honestly say I have never regretted leaving banking. There were great times, but it was 70mph to the finish line. Yes, maybe a comfortable retirement, but looking at the last 10 years, a LOT of experiences missed. Yes, I will work a LOT longer, but so what. You see, what really is the point? Well it has come into focus for me in the last year, that it is simply about presence. Stopping to value the village on the country road, rather than speeding along a crowded motorway. Simply stopping to recognise and appreciate the people around you, the opportunities you are experiencing, and the things you are choosing to do, rather than being told to.

In the last 10 years or so, I have had more time to spend with family than I could ever have believed - is it possible to put any price on that? By saying yes to opportunity, I've been taken out of my comfort zone, I've been frankly terrified at some things I've agreed to do, and I have built a network, actually strike that, I have made so many friends, it is deeply humbling. All by stopping, and being present.

Thankfully, many people want banking careers, many people want to be in the outside lane of the motorway. The goal is overshadowing the present. That is great, and the world needs such a diverse mix. But, if you are doing 70mph in the outside lane, wishing, and I mean genuinely wishing rather than a brief pipe dream, that you want to be on a country road, then STOP. Not immediately, as that would be dangerous, as would reading this blog while driving, so hopefully we're all safe at this point. Stop and think.

Future blogs will focus on personal purpose, values and who to talk to (or rather not talk to) when you are challenging yourself about being truly grounded in the present.

I don't have answers, but I do have experiences, positive and negative. The outcome for us all is unknown, but the journey? Well that depends on whether you choose the motorway or country roads.