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Let’s get something clear at the start. I’m not a coach, I’m not qualified in mindfulness. I don’t teach yoga. I’m simply a 50 year old bloke, navigating lockdown, navigating a lifetime of awful mental health. I know what I should do (no coffee at night…..yeah right), but never do. I drink loads of water, which is good…..oh no, wait, it’s not good when I’m spooning coffee granules into it!
Phew, that’s out of the way. So here’s my current experience on trying to look after my mental and physical health. Now remember, I am 96kgs, and I eat chocolate. I am NOT sitting on a pedestal, looking down at you failing to form good habits.
Anyway, there’s a few things I’ve learned, and that is what Performance of Your Life is about. I’ll share how it has been for me, who I think offers great products, and you can either take it, or leave it right here. Deal? Right, let’s go.
1. Mindfulness – originally called meditation, it comes along with many connotations. The new name of mindfulness really helps, taking away the ‘cross-legged in fields of wildflowers’ approach. I love tech, I have all my apps carefully downloaded and stored in different headings on my phone. My go to mindfulness app is Headspace (www.headspace.com) – you can find your way around with a free version, but if you’re serious, paying is absolutely worth it in terms of the continued support and access. I know we hear a lot of things are only ‘£1 a week’ etc, but it’s been interesting in later life recognising the need to spend money on yourself. Everything is a choice, right? So for less than a £1 a week, I get world class support for my mental health, how I want it, when I want it. I’ve never spent more than 10 minutes a day on a session with Headspace, but it truly, truly helps, when you give it the respect it deserves. Respect your mind too – it needs exercise like every other part of you. So, 10 minutes a day, £1 a week – are you really saying you can’t do that? I’ve queued more than 10 minutes in a coffee shop to spend £3 on a coffee! Think about it.
2. Breathing – yep, I can recommend it! But seriously, like the rest of our body, we don’t use anything like the amount of breathing capacity our lungs offer us. Like a lot of things in life, we are shallow when it comes to breathing. I was a sceptic, yes, and I am nowhere near perfect, but, when I’m in panic mode, struggling to be relaxed, deep (no, deeper than that – yes, keep going) breaths DO work. It requires nothing more than you and your body, in whatever sitting or standing position, waking down the street, in the shower – wherever. Deep breaths, in through the nose (to clean the air), and out through the mouth. Even if you only do one deep breath a day, you will recognise the difference. We hold our breath unconsciously in all sorts of situations, and our resting breath is pretty shallow, but if you can shift the mindset to consciously breathe deeply, the effects are immense, with no cost or time commitment! I was converted by the writings of Dr Rangan Chatterjee, local Cheshire GP, who is a little bit famous too. Top guy with plenty articles, social media and podcasts around (www.drchatterjee.com), but I can recommend one of his books, The Stress Solution – really easy read – even if you only read the breathing chapter. If you don’t believe in the whole breathing thing, here’s the deal; the first person who wants it, can have my copy – I’ll post it to you.
3. Yoga – now we’re getting serious – well, that depends on your choice of teacher. Yoga has definitely come to me late in life, and I’m not about to start going to Manhattan type classes which are more like a catwalk. Nope, I have Michelle, known on social media as Sacred Space Guru (Instagram: sacred_space_guru). Absolutely says it as she sees it – no fluff, no nonsense – and, in these times, will support you via Zoom. In fact, I don’t think I would ever have gone to a face to face yoga class, so thank you lockdown for getting me to commit to my body. Now, habit forming here is tricky, but again, I’m a 50 year old bloke who doesn’t look after himself that well. So if I’m feeling the benefits of yoga, and that’s before I have it as a daily habit, then you can too. To do a class, you’re talking an hour a week, and privately, say 15 minutes a day. Yes, you do have that time in your life to commit. It’s all about priorities. You’ll feel on top of the world in ‘warrior pose’ in no time.
4. Presence – gee, we’re at the hard one now. This returns us to mindfulness, but in a bigger concept. Live in the moment people say. Well that’s fine, but I’m worried about what I did yesterday (yes, but everyone else has forgotten that), and I’m worried about how tomorrow will go (yes, and we all know it will be fine). Staying in the moment is a nightmare. One thing I am guilty off is being a time saver – I gather up time and worry about it disappearing. When I say I don’t want to go out, watch a film, whatever, the family say, but what are you going to do, I say I don’t know, but I want time to do stuff. Stuff is fine, but BE present with it, keep every minute sacred – go for that walk, watch that film – properly, not with one eye on the time or your phone. It’s such a hard thing to describe, but, being at the top of a mountain, looking at the view and feeling the wind, is being present – finding the best picture of the moment through your phone, is not. Talking of phones, I made a conscious shift last year to have two mobiles – one for work and one for me. It was a bit of a decision financially, but the results have been awesome. I can go out walking, or even be at home, fully contactable by family and loved ones, but anything work related, out of work hours, has no chance of interfering, as that phone is nowhere near me.
5. Sleep & Maintenance – Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If you continually go to bed late, and think tonight will be the night that my body will survive on five hours sleep, well…..wake up…..WAKE UP!! You need to find a pattern around the number of hours you need (typically seven), and whether you are an early or late sleeper. Make sure you’re carrying out regular maintenance on your body too. The car gets MOT’d and serviced – why are you any different. Keep the dentist visits on track, and the optician…..and your GP wants to see you sooner rather than too late…..telephone appointments have been a really positive outcome of lockdown, meaning you can ‘see’ the doctor without even leaving the house. No excuse. I can still hear you, ‘but I don’t have time’. For anyone who thinks their work to do list is THE priority, think about this, when you’re no longer here, that to do list is suddenly complete and no longer matters.
So that’s my take. This article suggests spending a bit of time and money – I’ll leave you to decide if you are worth it – but I do hope you believe you are. Do not think this is being written in a yoga studio with pure filtered water by my side. Nope, I’ve had a busy week sat at my desk not moving, curled up now on the sofa, and you got it, I have not done my stretches today. DO NOT beat yourself up, but by being truly authentic with yourself, maybe we can do a bit of this together. Let me know if you want to form a group where we ‘nudge’ each other, or even gather on zoom to do our stretches – having a commitment makes a real difference. You wouldn’t miss a gig you have tickets for, so why miss the appointment with yourself to work on your best version.
p.s. keep checking out the Good Folks page of the website, www.performanceofyourlife.co.uk, for details of people who may be able to help you.
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